Your nose is more important than your hair

So, I’m just gonna go into a little bit more detail about yesterday.. just cause I can, ya know?  Then I shall tell you about my non-eventful, blood-filled day today. =]

YESTERDAY

So, I shall start this from midnight, cause yeah.

It hit midnight and I was not allowed to eat from midnight onwards, which totally sucked since I planned to just not go to bed at all and I tend to get hungry when I’m like, awake and stuff.. haha, I tend to get hungry after midnight too, syeah.

To distract myself from the not-food-ness, I worked on my deviantART account (which you can find here) and just talked to Alex and Jason about stuff. I also went on BBBA and got a bit of reassurance about my surgery and stuff cause I was sorta really worrying about it cause I really thought something bad would happen.

I couldn’t work out if I was allowed to have water or not, but then I was kinda like, “Fuck it” cause I was fucking thirsty, yeah? So yeah, I had one glass of water.

At about half past four (I think..) I decided to just go to bed and lay there for a while, cause I thought I should get some form of rest or something. Yeah, well, I ended up getting no rest at all; I just sat there and bitched about people in my head until mum came in at five to “wake me up.”

I had a shower and I had half a glass of water and then we we left for the hospital.

It was like, so cold outside and in the car and there was nobody on the road at all; it was amazing. I was really tired too but not tired enough to sleep or anything. It was really weird actually.

Suddenly, there was like, heaps of cars.. maybe cause we were on the freeway and everything.. hahaha.

When we got to the hospital (it was in St Kilda I believe.. well, I could see Luna Park for a split second, syeah – funny how last time I was there it was all YAY and then this time was all OMGSURGERYDEATHARGH) it was absolutely freezing.. and early, like, six or something; there is no way that I should be awake at six, let alone out of the house!

The waiting room was only semi-warm too and yeah. It was really busy in there as well. I found it so weird seeing so many people so early in the morning.

I was in complain mode for most of the time (haha, when am I not in complain mode?) and these old people kept staring at me and I felt like biting their heads off, but there was also this cute little kid and awwh, she was so cute and stuff. She wouldn’t have been older than three or something and she was getting operated on and I felt sorry for her and stuff.

At seven, this nurse came and took me to my room.. she weighed me first though and I was all, “Gosh, how rude!” and acted all diva.. hahaha.

My room was so boring.. like, boring white walls and boring bed sheets and ugly small TV and just boring, boring, boring. I wanted to go out and buy some paint or something and just give the place some colour. I was still in “diva complaing mode” and I was all, “There ain’t no way in Hell I’m sleepin’ here tonight!” and blah blah.

This nurse came in and she was a total bitch. Like, okay, so I was all, being difficult and stuff, but still. She went to take my blood pressure and she “accidentally” hit me in the head with this thing.. hahaha. Oh, then she asked about my fasting and I was like, “Yo, I had some water this mornin’” and she got all reeeeally pissed off and all, “OH MAH GAHD! WATER?! YOU MAY AS WELL HAVE HAD POISON!” – hahahaha, okay, so she didn’t say that exactly but it was pre close.

I was all, “Whatever, whatever, I do what I want” and my sister cracked up and mum was all, trying not to laugh. =P

Then I waited around for ages and complained and then we looked over at this table and they had hospital “clothes” and my sister went over and she like, unpacked it and she pissed herself laughing cause like, it was basically nothing at all.

But gosh, it was all so feral and I was all, “Nuh-uh, I ain’t wearin’ that, no way!”

Then the anesthestist came in and I was all, sitting up straight and being all nice cause this dude pre much had my life in his hands. Haha, I think I was a bit too polite, but whatever.

He went over all this stuff and I was acting all calm and stuff but then my body started shaking and I started to stutter and yeah, I was not calm at all. I was borderline tears actually, but I refuse to attribute that to my scaredness – it’s cause I was tired. *nods*

Then psycho nurse came back in and she was all, “PUT YOU DEGRADING HOSPITAL CLOTHES ON!” so yeah. But, omg, seriously, sif I had to wear that shit. Like, fine if it was just that disgusting white robe thang, but they made me wear this really see-through pair of underwear as well. Hahaha, gosh. Like, I wore really bright red, sexy underwear on purpose so they could be all, “Damn, this guy is hawt” – but no.

Seriously, I could just have been naked and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

Bitchface nurse returned with this cream to numb my hand (the anesthestist picked out a vein on my hand and yeah, she numbed it for the needle) and she also gave me some pain killers and stuff.

Now, I don’t know if it was the pain killers or because I was tired, but I went so psycho after that. Haha, I quoted pretty much all of Willy Wonka and hahaha, the nurses walking past kept giving me concerned looks. Mum was all, “Shh! Be quiet!” but sif.

I eventually found the remote for the bed and I was all, “Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed folds in half..” hahahaha. Gosh, that was the funnest thing ever. I have a few videos of it and I’ll upload them tomorrow cause I can’t be bothered right now, but hahaha, it was hilarious. My mum and my sister were in tears from laughter.

I so want one of those beds for home.. but a double bed version, cause yeah.

Ya know, the wait for surgery was really annoying, and being up for 24+ hours just made it even more annoying.

Oh! At one stage, I was “Helga the Russian Nurse.” Hahahahaha.. just.. hahahaha.

I was also acting like a super model.. oh, and my mum was the Queen and I was curtsying and stuff, cause like, this hospital thing was just a dress bascially.

It was actually a really hilarious couple of hours.

At like, eleven or something, this doctor was all, “HELLO!” and he scared the shit outta me cause I was facing the other way and stuff. I can’t really remember too well, but I think he was semi-attractive. =]

He and this nurse wheeled me away to the operating-waiting room (so the room just outside the operating room) and I was like, humming dramatic hospital music.. hahahhaha. Oh, I am so much fun, I swear now.

It was really cold in there, but that was okay cause they gave me this HEAPS warm blanket and I loved it so much. Someone please buy me a blanket warming cabinet, please. Mum was all, sitting there nervously cause she could hear them setting up the operating room – by this time, I didn’t even care; I was just sitting there singing The Time Warp over and over. =D

Oh! Hahaha! This nurse came in and she was checking various details to see if I was the one and only Jake and she said in the calmest way, “So, you’ve had liver disease?” and I was like, “Come again?” Haha, turns out, mum ticked the wrong box and instead of saying that I had hayfever, it said I had liver disease.. hahaha.

Then all of a sudden, the surgeon dude and the anesthetist and other doctors came in and it was all really quick and kinda weird. The surgeon dude was all, trying to distract me from what the anesthestist was doing, but yeah; the anesthetist just jabbed this plastic thingo into my hand and I couldn’t feel it so it was really weird.

Then they wheeled me into the operating room and switched me from my bed to the operating table and the anesthetist was all, “So, I’m gonna put you to sleep now.. you’ll be out in five seconds” and I was all, panicking and so I started singing the Freddy Krueger rhyme – like, “One two, Freddy’s coming for you” – but I didn’t finish it..

The next thing I knew I was in this recovery room and the nurses were all talking at me and I was all, out of it and I could see all these people but I kept going in and out of it and it was all a blur. I just remember asking, “How’d it go?” and being told that it went really well and stuff. I actually think I asked that question a few times, haha.

The next next thing I knew I was back in my room with my family all around. I could hear them talking first and then I opened my eyes and they were all there and I was like, “It was strange the way it happened, one of those quirks of fate really” and my dad was like, “He’s okay! He’s quoting Rocky Horror!” and yeeeah.. hahaha.

I think I fell asleep again and then I woke up and I just quoted every movie under the sun.. I then sang me some Lily Allen and Lady GaGa. OH! I also sang various parts of MCR songs too.

I was just singing heaps I reckon.

When I got enough strength, I asked for my phone and I tweeted that I survived and like, pretty much straight away, Jack texted me, which I thought was amazing; like, go Jack and go Twitter! =D

I think Alex texted me cause of Twitter too.

I texted Dakota, Ben and Fahreta myself as well.

My phone went off so much in the space of like, ten minutes; it was amusing.

Oh, speaking of amusing, haha, I texted Jack something about the medication and in my head I was like, “Haha, I’d laugh if I got hooked on this shit” and then he texted back, “Don’t get hooked!” Hahahaha. =P

The one good thing about being in recovery was the fact that bitch nurse was under my control. I made her get me so many icy-poles and stuff.

All the nurses were pretty nice though, I liked them.

The first time I got up, I was so dizzy and I thought I’d have to spend the night, but I was determined to go home, so yeah.

Oh, before we left, they obviously had to take the drip out of me and that little plastic thing that was in my hand. My God, when they took that plastic thing out there was SO much blood; it was like a blood explosion. It was the coolest thing ever. =D

I think we left the hospital at nine or something like that. I can’t really remember all that much. I found it weird that I arrived there in the dark and left there in the dark.

One thing I was annoyed about was that they didn’t push me out in a wheelchair.. I just had to walk out all dizzy and stuff. =[

I was heaps sick looking, though; like, pale and sorta bordering on green, so that was cool.

The drive home was interesting. I just kept falling asleep and stuff.. but yeah, getting home was the best feeling. I like being home. =]

The first thing I did was just turn the computer on.. hahaha, trust me. But nah, I needed to download Big Brother!

I posted a small blog entry and then I went to watch a movie (Quarantine) but then I just kept falling asleep during it, so I just went to bed instead. It was heaps early I think, like, 10:30 or something, but yeah.

I went to sleep reeeally quickly..

TODAY

I woke up at about eleven and I was completely shocked to find mum just laying on my bed with me. Turns out, she was worried so she came and slept with me.. haha, what a psycho.. it was so confusing.

But yeah, I got up and had a shower and when I took the bandage off there was all this blood and it looked really cool and stuff.

I had to clean my nose out with this stuff and take all these meds and blah blah blah.

My day pretty much consisted of me changing my bandage and cleaning my nose out and taking meds.

Oh, I bought some stuff from the MCR store because I felt like I deserved stuff for surviving the operation and everything.. hahaha.

I also watched Big Brother; I was officially behind! But yeah.. I can’t be bothered giving opinions on it now because I’m totally over writing right now. This is probably my longest blog ever!

Oh but cleaning and changing the bandage is so much fun. Mum keeps freaking out but I find it cool. All this blood just drips and it’s just so bloody – there’s no other word for it besides cool and bloody.. hahaha.

I love it. =D

Oh and before, I was doing my hair and dad was all, “Clean your nose up!” and I was like, “But, my hair!” and he was all, “Your nose is more important than your hair!” Hahaha.

But yeah, tomorrow I shall post some videos from the hospital and I’ll post some pictures as well. I’ve already put up a picture on MySpace (or I’m about to anyway), but yeah, I’ll find some graphic-ish ones for tomorrow.

And yeah.

If you’ve read all this, you are seriously amazing. =]